|Monday, June 25th, 2007|
Hey everyone! two smartasses here- Jules and Serena. We're new to the site and are excited to see that there are other fine people like ourselves on here. We look forward to posting more than a few smart-ass comments on here. But for now check out our blog and add us as a friend!
|Wednesday, July 13th, 2005|
|Wednesday, July 6th, 2005|
Attention, all the 0 + 1 of you that are left
This is a notice that this forum is annexed by faux_philosophy
and will be used as a new landfill. The following default-provincial-flags-for-small-n-ins
ignificant-tater-forums shall be planted to mark this fact
Thanks. Have a nice day.
|Monday, May 23rd, 2005|
i looked at this and laughed people who r just like me well atleast i think.
my mom c alls me a smartass all the time so i think to my self at least its not as big as hers
|Thursday, January 13th, 2005|
|Wednesday, October 27th, 2004|
Wow. Here's a toddlin' group. Looks like we're a bunch of DUMBasses. Oh well, there's still more people here than the snowskaters or the b-grade porn group. Current Mood: ring
|Sunday, January 18th, 2004|
Community of smartasses Community
So apparently i now have the honor and privilege of being a member of the Community of smartasses community. seems a bit redundant to me, but maybe it builds, I don't know, a sense of community? anyways, being such wiseass i usually made fun of my friends that kept blogs but now I have one cause apparently i'm too much of a smartass and needed a safer place to let it out...so i'm new here and just lookin around. but i look forward to seeing the the high-caliber work of other well-practiced smartasses Current Mood: amused
|Tuesday, January 6th, 2004|
Membership doubled since I joined!
Hey maintainer, YOU OUGHTTAH THANK ME GAHDAMMIT.
Now pay for my account
|Thursday, January 1st, 2004|
I wonder what would happen if a third of the members of this huge forum gets banned?
Would it get... a lot quieter
|Sunday, February 10th, 2002|
Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the bar, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl who isn't there if he can buy her a drink.
The bartender, who is used to weird university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart-wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of the bartender, and he says,
"I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existance and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there."
The bartender raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a drink? Never know... she might say yes."
The mathematician laughs. "Yeah, right -- how likely is THAT to happen?"
|Thursday, December 27th, 2001|
|Wednesday, October 31st, 2001|
I had to share this.
The best way of describing a woman is to use a ball.
At 18, she is a football - 22 men going after her.
At 28, she is a hockey ball - 8 men after her.
At 38, she is a golf ball - 1 man after her.
At 48, she is a Ping-Pong ball - 2 men pushing to
What woman think about sex
At age 8 ignore it.
At age 18 experience it.
At age 28 look for it.
At age 38 ask for it.
At age 48 beg for it.
At age 58 pay for it.
At age 68 pray for it.
At age 78 forget it!
The best way of describing a man is to compare him to
At 20 - A man is like a coconut; so much to offer, so
little to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian; dangerous but delicious.
At 40 - He is like a water-melon; big, round & juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange; the season
comes once in a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin; dried out, wrinkled
Man's sexual chemistry
At 20s thrice weekly
At 30s tries weekly
At 40s tries weakly
At 50s tries & tries
At 60s tries & cries
At 70s tries & dies!
WOMEN'S DAILY PRAYER
Thank you for making me healthy,
Can you also make me sexy?
If you can't make me sexy,
PLEASE make all my friends fat.....
Amen...... Current Mood: artistic
|Friday, September 21st, 2001|
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY
8. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
9. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
10. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
11. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
12. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLYSUPERIOR.
13. She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN
> > FACILITY.
> > 2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
> > 3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY
> > HORIZONTAL.
> > 7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of
> > RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
> Current Mood: silly
|Friday, August 31st, 2001|
Like I say every week on this day T.G.I.F.
and have a good day!
|Saturday, July 28th, 2001|
i think i'll fit right in here...i have been accused of being a smartass many a time ;) Current Mood: full
|Thursday, July 5th, 2001|
What its about...
Okay, now that I've got a little more time to write here (and am drunk enough to not give a shit), I'd like to welcome the few people that have signed up already. What I hope to achieve from this community isn't necessarily a flooding of community posts to bring people together, but instead a list of people that have some pretty damn good stuff in their personal journals that others would enjoy reading. That and I want to get a little more pub for my personal website
. Like I mentioned somewhere before, it should let everyone else know your personal journal is out there, without having to sift through piles and piles of other journals, or hoping to find anyone with a shred of humor in their journal through the "random" link on the left. So say hello, write if you must, but lets all just have a good time!
|Wednesday, July 4th, 2001|
Not too much to be a smartass about here, but empty journals don't get looked at. If ya want the real fun stuff, check out my journal
. And come back here later. Hope to see people here! Current Mood: accomplished